During the vest, sexual relations are prohibited, even if the woman did a bedikah which was clean. Other forms of physical intimacy are permitted by halacha. Even though other forms of affection are permitted, it is proper to refrain from excessive physical intimacy which can lead to sexual relations. Physical touch in a non-intimate way, and loving words are definitely permitted.
One need not keep any harchakot on the day of the vest, and there is no room to be stringent at all. The couple may sleep in the same bed, share food, and touch on the day of the vest.