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Sensitivities While Niddah

A couple must avoid putting themselves in a situation where there is excessive lightheadedness or giddiness which may easily lead to intimate situations. The couple must avoid frivolous interactions, and flirting with one another, as this can lead to a desire for intimate relations. This does not mean that a couple cannot make jokes, or share words of affection. This does mean that a couple should not have excessively intimate and lighthearted moments while niddah. One should use common sense when determining what can or cannot be done and said, and what may lead one to have temptations for forbidden acts.

The husband is forbidden to gaze upon any part of his wife’s body that is usually covered. The husband and wife may still dress nicely and the wife may put on makeup, so that the couple remains attractive to one another. Suggestive clothing and makeup should be avoided.

The husband may not smell his wife’s perfume while she is wearing it. Smelling the bottle is permitted. Smelling besamim that the wife is holding during havdalah is permitted.

During the days of niddah a couple should continue building their emotional relationship. Thoughtful gestures such as flowers for Shabbat, or other small gifts of affection are permitted, and even warranted. Words of encouragement and praise are even more effective during these times.

It is proper for the husband to avoid hearing his wife sing while she is niddah. If there is a necessity for the husband to hear the wife singing, such as while putting a child to sleep, and both spouses are in the room, one may be lenient. If the husband is not intentionally listening to his wife sing, such as he is in one room and his wife is singing to herself in a different room, it is permitted for him to hear her.