Is a man allowed to cut his pubic and underarm hair if it causes the his wife to not be attracted to him?
There are authorities that permit a man to shave under certain circumstances. However, in order to properly answer this question I feel you should talk to a Rav that knows you personally and can better guide the two of you.
As a side not, this may be more than just a halachic issue for your husband. He may be feeling attacked or “unmanly” by your request, and it would be smart to take this into consideration. Obviously your feelings are important as well, and both of your needs must be met.
Rabbi Shay Tahan