We are all familiar with the videos of soldiers coming back home, hugging and kissing their family members. In our parasha, Parashat Yitro, Yitro sends word to Moshe Rabbeinu that he is coming with Moshe’s wife and children to meet him: וַיֹּאמֶר אֶל מֹשֶׁה אֲנִי חֹתֶנְךָ יִתְרוֹ בָּא אֵלֶיךָ וְאִשְׁתְּךָ וּשְׁנֵי בָנֶיהָ עִמָּהּ (Shemot 18:6). And I was thinking: why is the surprise effect missing here? The soldiers come home as a surprise, without notifying their family. Why did Yitro announce himself?
Two Kinds of Honor
Then I thought that there is a difference. When a soldier comes to his family, he comes to honor the family, and therefore he comes and surprises them; he comes to show them love and respect. But with Moshe Rabbeinu, Yitro had a different point. He wanted Moshe Rabbeinu to come out to his wife and children, to show them respect, to make Moshe’s wife and children feel honored and loved. That is why he sent Moshe Rabbeinu a message: come out to greet your wife and children. As Rashi explains the message: אִם אֵין אַתָּה יוֹצֵא בְגִינִי, צֵא בְגִין אִשְׁתְּךָ, וְאִם אֵין אַתָּה יוֹצֵא בְגִין אִשְׁתְּךָ, צֵא בְגִין שְׁנֵי בָנֶיהָ, if you will not come out for me, come out for your wife; if not for your wife, come out for her two sons.
This is an important difference. When you come out to somebody, you show him how much you respect him and how much you love him, and that really elevates him.
Like a Chatan Going Out to His Kallah
We find the same idea later in the parasha, when Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes toward Am Yisrael before giving them the Torah at Har Sinai. He comes in the morning and waits for Am Yisrael; He greets them. On the words וַיּוֹצֵא מֹשֶׁה אֶת הָעָם לִקְרַאת הָאֱלֹהִים (Shemot 19:17), Rashi says: מַגִּיד שֶׁהַשְּׁכִינָה יָצְאָה לִקְרָאתָם כְּחָתָן הַיּוֹצֵא לִקְרַאת כַּלָּה, the Shechinah went out toward them like a chatan going out to meet his kallah. The chatan goes out to respect and honor his kallah. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu, who was the chatan at Har Sinai, also came out to Am Yisrael to show them respect, love and honor, to elevate them.
And that really is the difference between our very honorable soldiers of Am Yisrael, who come home to their families in a surprising way to show them love and respect, and Yitro, who asked Moshe to come out, so that the honor would go to the wife and children. Shabbat shalom.
Based on Rabbi Shay Tahan’s class “Yitro. Soldiers Come Back Home To Surprise Their Family” (Parashat Yitro): watch the class.
