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Mourner Within the Year Attending Shavuot Meals at a Large Gathering

Question

My father passed away two months ago, and someone is inviting me for Shavuot meals at a somewhat large gathering. Am I allowed to go, or do I have to stay home?

Answer

If you are Ashkenazi you aren’t allowed to go to anyone for meals. If you are Sephardi it is permitted.

Sources

The Shulchan Aruch rules that a mourner for a father or mother may not enter a beit hamishteh (a house of feasting) for twelve months. It does not forbid other meals, which is the basis for permitting a Sephardi to go to an ordinary Yom Tov meal. The Rema then records the Ashkenazi custom to be stricter: “not to eat at any feast whatsoever for the entire twelve months, if it is outside of his home.” This is why an Ashkenazi mourner should not go out to others for meals.

  • Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De’ah 391:2 — a mourner for a parent may not enter a house of feasting for twelve months. The Rema adds that the custom is not to eat at any meal outside one’s home for the whole twelve months.

Author

Rabbi Shay Tahan

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